my own

after i took some days for my introspection i can finally made up my self for something better. that's good thing. i found too many reasons made me loose my concentration , so many and i know i've to solve them one by one. one clear, another i know, and the last thing. it's a shame but terrible.

GOD, it is really frustating. how i want to scream out loud and tell him all the wrong things, but i realize it is too late. yesterday was the last day when we were standing on the same island. this morning he finally at his apartment. i scare to my self, the more i avoid him the more i look like a stalker. yes, i'm avoiding things i hate again. i wonder if he did pay attention to me even just for friend, does he realizes this? i'm going crazy for keeping my own desire in my head. my own desire. have i ever think about his? them? what's really bothering me? is my feeling right or it is just my own obsession?