serius

ada kadang rasanya betul-betul bingung dan gak tau harus bagaimana. enggak bukan galau. serius. tapi betul-betuk bingung... mau sedikit kesal sama teman, tapi ingat juga teman juga manusia, punya kepentingan dan hidup sendiri. tapi. saya. juga. enggak enggak, semua peduli kok.hanya mungkin saya yang berlebihan, kadang gak ingat waktu. terlalu berorientasi pada goal setting dan gak ingat kepentingan orang lain kalo saya merasa saya bisa menghandle urusan saya sendiri. pun kalo gak ada yang protes saya juga akan sadar, tapi saya diam. saya bingung juga jadinya. saya juga bingung kalo ternyata menyadari saya lebih polos daripada yang saya duga. saya benci jadi orang yang gak tau apa-apa, meski ada yang bilang saya tau banyak. saya gak suka ketidaktahuan. karena kalo sudah begitu saya jadi bingung. saya kadang menjadi orang yang sangat text book, ya saya tau itu. karena dari mana lagi kita bisa berpedoman yang bisa buktikan keabsahannya kalo bukan dari bukti tulis. saya juga kadang bisa terlalu rigid terhadap peraturan. ya, semua itu karena saya takut kesalahan.

oiya, ada satu teman, saya sangat berterimakasih pada salah satu teman saya karena dia berterimakasih pada saya. it was just a simple thank you.. ucapan terimakasih kamu membuat saya sadar bahwa apa yang saya lakukan tidak sepenuhnya salah.. atau betul bagi yang beranggapan sebaliknya.. :)

apapun, siapapun, bagaimanapun, dan seperti apa ini. saya bingung.. saya gak tau, kemana arah otak saya harus berpikir..

10 Januari 2007

“Ku terawang indahnya cakrawala
Mengalun deras kicauan maya dalam dada
Ku bisikan cerita singkat pada malam
Tempatku berbagi tawa pedih dan semua garis yang pernah terlukis
Sebening kaca berkilau kristal yang bersulamkan api

Ku hanyutkan tawaku dalam langit penuh bintang
Ku tebarkan asa lewat mata nan ku lukiskan garis biru dalam sisi angin-angin yang mencekam
Ku katakan pada mereka secarik harap yang tak mungkin tercari
Ku lantunkan nada sunyi menggantung jiwa, mengusut kepenatan yang merindukan kedamaian...”


Diary, 2007

30 Januari 2007

"Ku jumpai seribu lembah dengan sejuta anginnya
Ku pejamkan mata, menutup suatu nyata
Ku penda, suatu namun meronta ia terbuka
Tak seriingan batu karang tak jua seberat kapas
Jarum jam berputar menunjuk bintang yang bersinar
Tak seorang berdiri di sekitas
Semakin sepi ia meraung keluar...
Jalan yang sama,
Mengapa kini begitu membosankan...? "


Diary, 2007

good feeling when you're getting closer with your friends :)

it's been long time not to write in this room. Not leaving but technically denying something and stop thinking about that. Never mind. :p

Having a better relationship with someone, or some peoples and be able to laughing together with them is one of the best thing I could feel in these cheesy days. After being pressed with pounds of word, theory an bla bla bla, now finally... :D

I still have a fresh memories when one my high school said to my close-friend about her opinion to my appearance,

"Vanthea looks like a bad-tempered girl and sullen, I have no idea while you both can easily laughing together... " and my close-friend laughed and said,

"That's the way people thinking when they don't get to know about her yet... " ,

she told me that and I was just laugh...questioning about my face... :p (of course her impression about me later changed finally :3 ). The same thing happened now, with my boarding house mate. When she finally gets closer and we shared many funny moments, she confessed that she had been thinking that I was bad tempered, less smile sooo different with someone who's right next to her. My friend's initial-appearance came to my mind and I was laughing said,

"Nooo dear, but yes some peoples thinking that way at the first time",

and she nod with her innocent face. LOL

Love today, tough I'm a bit sick but I had a lot of fun :)

Hot 'n Cold

I got in my boarding house with a lots of story from my campuss activity and when I wrote these I was listening Katty Perry’s Hot ‘n Cold. Well, currently I’m listening to the oldies songs, ok gak nyambung. Biarin :p . The thing I wanna write is, every people in this universe has their own problem. It doesn’t matter who you are, where’d you come from or what status you have u’re gonna get your own problem. When it really touches your deepest feeling no matter how strong you are, hurt and cry may follow you. Maybe it is true to remember that what is it called, semua akan indah pada waktunya. Each person has their own trouble, no matter what and they deserve their best by making a choice. Yeahh..

I remember when I was in class, my lecture said to the students, “When you were desperately no hopes, no power to your hard situation, don’t give up. Get your mind up that you’re nothing and no one. Only God’s creature. Only Him controls you. Believe in him and pray, then miracle ll happen.” and semua akan indah pada waktunya.. I think, she is right. By thinking that way we could survive from soooo many negative emotions. :))

wonderful Satnite

@EKPOSE
alhamdulillah akhirnya event-nya bisa jadi dan sukses XD XD XD setelah deg deg kan berhari-hari XD XD galau menunggu kepastian dan lain lain akhirnya, @EKSPOSE survive, bisa liat nama Psikologi Undip di jalan jalan :') uncountable terima kasih setelah disupport banyak orang, acara lancar, ketemu artis :p puas nyayi (tereak tereak) dideket panggung :D alhamdulillah :)))